Posted in Mental Health

Mental Health Monday’s: Taking Responsibility!

I have dealt with mental issues to so long. I spent my teenaged years struggling to cope with being bullied and my mental illnesses starting to show. I feel as if I missed those crucial years of emotional development and it still troubles me as an adult in their late twenties.

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Posted in Recent Pick Ups/Purchases, Uncategorized, Video Games

Game Pick Ups: My Backlog Is Crying

Hello, gamers! I haven’t posted about recent purchases in a while. There honestly haven’t been all that many, I have been trying to behave and rattle down my backlog, obviously, this post implies I have cracked and added to the collection.
Don’t judge me! 😂🤣

So, here are the new additions to my backlog!

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Posted in Mental Health, Opinions On Serious Topics

Let’s Talk Mental Illness Stigma: Why We Cannot Simply “Get Over It” | Revisited

This was a subject I wanted to revisit, I wasn’t happy with the original post, but I set it live anyway. Now some time has passed, I want to revisit the subject of stigma and how as mentally ill people, we can’t just “get over” it.
We need to open up the conversation more when it comes to mental health, while now more than ever people are spreading awareness and doing wonderful things, the stiga surrounding various disorders, and the subject in general is shocking.

I have seen many comments, also I’ve had some directed my way that people who are mentally ill are lazy, crazy, unwilling to change and just need a good dose of reality. When in fact, we are none of these things, we are people with illnesses just trying to get through the day like the rest of society. Our illnesses/disorders are just as valid, as well as potentially dangerous as several physical issues, we need the same amount of love and respect as that. I am in no way comparing illnesses, or trying to start a debate on which is worse, I am just here to tell my truth and how I feel we can co-exist would the unnecessary judgement thrown our way.

I am just one person, but I am very passionate about this, I might not be able to change the mind of the masses, but if I can spark a healthy conversation about the subject, I’ve done my job.

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Posted in Video Games

Comparing PlayStation Now & Xbox Game Pass

First of all, I would like to apologise that this post is late. I needed to rework it, then I needed a break due to mental health reasons. My usual gaming post slot is Friday, unless something like this comes up, thank you!

Now that the Christmas period is in the rear view, some of you may have some nice, shiny new consoles, I will be comparing the services, by PlayStation Now and Xbox Game Pass.

I am no way affiliated with Sony, or Microsoft, just a customer sharing my thoughts! 😊

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Posted in Various Topics

We Are All The Villains In Someone Else’s Story

I’ve been doing a lot of reflecting journaling lately, it’s been quite helpful with seeing what part of the trauma is actually traumatic, or what parts have been exaggerated. Memory is a fickle thing, over time it can become distorted. I was told by my doctor once that when you recall a memory, you’re actually recalling the last time you remembered it, and not the original memory.

I’ll be the first to admit that I am far from a saint, but seeing the title of the post as a quote got me thinking about how the people who’ve hurt me see me.

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Posted in Mental Health

Acceptance

5 years ago yesterday I lost my nan to bowel cancer. While I knew her death was coming, it still rocked me to my core. I was the one in my family who it hit the hardest, around the time she was ill I was in a dying relationship. We’d been together for about 2 years, in my head I needed him, he was my lifeline. I spent Christmas 2014 with him, which I was very hesitant about because her health was declining. She told me to go because I had to live my life for me, not put it on hold for her. She passed away January 12th 2015, my now ex-boyfriend ended the relationship 2 days after the funeral.

As 2015 went on, I accepted my ex wasn’t worth my years, but I was filled with so much rage and guilt for not staying home and seeing her on what was her final Christmas instead of trying to save what was a long dead relationship anyway. Hindsight is 2020 and I couldn’t accept that regardless of wherever I was, she wouldn’t have made it.

My life went on a downward spiral due to this. I would drink daily, I would eat horrible food, I would sleep. I was just so angry, I couldn’t stop crying. Why did I leave? Why didn’t I stay home so I could’ve said goodbye? She deteriorated so fast by the time I was home, she didn’t want us to see her the way she was.

It has taken 5 years, but I feel like I’ve finally reached acceptance. Does it still hurt knowing she’s no longer here with me? Of course, you never get over the loss of a loved one, you just learn to move forward. I am grateful I had her in my life for 23 years. I can’t live my life clinging to the idea of her as she left the world, I need to move forward so I can tell her all about it when it’s my turn to leave the world.